In the process of losing weight, I have taken copious notes about my eating behaviors. The changes that have occurred and my tastes and cravings are so different now as I'm a thin person. I still have bad cravings, like those cheeto puffs that lurk in the back of my pantry that I slowly munch on that I know I shouldn't, or the white chocolate Lindt truffles that I crave during my TMO. However, I've realized both of these foods are fatuous reminders of the fatness I used to carry with me. I tell myself, "You need to get serious about working out and eating healthy ALL the time." But is that really practical? I mean, can one really be health conscious ALL the time?
The answer really is yes. I could go without baking cookies and making sweets. I've lost a whole person, and I've gained a better respect for the calorie. My silliness as a fat person was that I never really thought about a calorie. I mean, I furiously calculated them while dieting but I got frustrated with the complication of really knowing what a calorie was.... Yes, I burned a peanut in chemistry in high school and learned about joules and tried not to sleep through Mr. Borne's lectures, but "People!" I didn't comprehend the number of calories I was truly eating when I plopped butter on my toast every morning. Now, I know what I'm putting in my mouth, and I pay attention. I sometimes feel as though it was the ADD that made me not pay attention or want to understand the depth of my brain fog.
For instance, the rage of PMS last week had me shoveling things I knew I shouldn't be eating into my mouth. Normally, I have the utmost in self control, even when baking my sweets and things, I tend to try to not overdo it, but the hormonal urge made me forget all my hard work in the last two years, and I was a ravenous vulture for anything sweet for about three days last week. I haven't even gotten on the scale to review the damage, too much water retention from the cycle would just tank all the self confidence, so I'll wait a day or two more to make sure I've maintained my 175. I'm pretty certain I have, but give me another day before I commit to a number on a scale. I know my period still has another day before it's up. Graphic... at least i'm not going on about the water retention I've noticed when I'm menstruating and ovulating. Womanhood really can be a pain in the ass sometimes, ya know.
So.... today begins the day where I start the training for the Crescent City Classic. My general rule for race training is 3 miles, 3 days a week. I'm committing to this. I might not blog about it, I might not have a fancy iphone to annoy all my friends on Facebook about how I'm keeping up with this, but I plan to really commit to this between now and April 3, race day, and my mom's 69th birthday. I'll try to keep ya'll posted. Who reads this anyway?