Monday, April 26, 2010

Write Me...

Today, Jonathan and I sat outside by Le Tour L'Eiffel (it's a restaurant shaped like the Eiffel Tower that is now closed) and had lunch together. It was good to do something a little different for a change, and we'd been talking about having lunch together on a weekday. The weather was immaculate. I missed him a lot this weekend.

I have had two people tell me in the last 24 hours that I should write a cookbook. While I've always wanted to write a book, I think this is a sign I need to start putting my ideas on paper while I search for a job. It is depressing being unemployed, but if I can take all the things I know for my experiences and use my creativity to write a book and make money, why not?

I'm going to start cooking and grocery shopping differently. While I followed a lot of the principles I am implementing, I don't do this ALL the time. A lot of it is inspired by what Jonathan likes. His food tastes are pretty different than mine were. He likes fatty foods as much as the rest of us, but I notice that he likes fresh and flavorful vegetables and meat the best. I'm applying those principles to the cook book I want to write. A whole foods approach, combined with cognitive behavioral therapies and philosophical snippets from yours truly. Wouldn't you buy that? Well, you're reading this, so you might not, but putting my creativity to good use in this format will do something to inspire someone out there.... and maybe they'd even give me money for it. Either way, it is something that is calling me and it has to happen else I will never fully reach my potential.

I feel good about having lost this much weight, but I am still not happy with my body. It kills me that I don't look like a knock out naked and that I'll have to have more surgery in order to get to where I really feel comfortable with myself naked. I don't look at myself. This is another aspect of the amnesia I have about how I got to 353 pounds. I wouldn't pay attention to what my hands and mouth were doing and did not write down what it was I ate and thought I'd lose weight by just thinking about it and letting my will power go at dinner time, or snack time, or anytime for that matter. And when I did finally put my mind to it with exercising almost every day of the week for three years, I hit the wall and could go no further than a loss of 75 or 80 pounds from my highest weight.

So, I'm going to start working on my outline. I've got some great ideas already about the chapters and breakdowns of recipes and variation on different types of special diets, why it's important to know if you're allergic to certain foods, (i.e. dairy, grains, etc for the purpose of disease management) and how to find exercise that works for you.

Nanfit is going to explode. I should only hope!

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