Monday, April 26, 2010

Write Me...

Today, Jonathan and I sat outside by Le Tour L'Eiffel (it's a restaurant shaped like the Eiffel Tower that is now closed) and had lunch together. It was good to do something a little different for a change, and we'd been talking about having lunch together on a weekday. The weather was immaculate. I missed him a lot this weekend.

I have had two people tell me in the last 24 hours that I should write a cookbook. While I've always wanted to write a book, I think this is a sign I need to start putting my ideas on paper while I search for a job. It is depressing being unemployed, but if I can take all the things I know for my experiences and use my creativity to write a book and make money, why not?

I'm going to start cooking and grocery shopping differently. While I followed a lot of the principles I am implementing, I don't do this ALL the time. A lot of it is inspired by what Jonathan likes. His food tastes are pretty different than mine were. He likes fatty foods as much as the rest of us, but I notice that he likes fresh and flavorful vegetables and meat the best. I'm applying those principles to the cook book I want to write. A whole foods approach, combined with cognitive behavioral therapies and philosophical snippets from yours truly. Wouldn't you buy that? Well, you're reading this, so you might not, but putting my creativity to good use in this format will do something to inspire someone out there.... and maybe they'd even give me money for it. Either way, it is something that is calling me and it has to happen else I will never fully reach my potential.

I feel good about having lost this much weight, but I am still not happy with my body. It kills me that I don't look like a knock out naked and that I'll have to have more surgery in order to get to where I really feel comfortable with myself naked. I don't look at myself. This is another aspect of the amnesia I have about how I got to 353 pounds. I wouldn't pay attention to what my hands and mouth were doing and did not write down what it was I ate and thought I'd lose weight by just thinking about it and letting my will power go at dinner time, or snack time, or anytime for that matter. And when I did finally put my mind to it with exercising almost every day of the week for three years, I hit the wall and could go no further than a loss of 75 or 80 pounds from my highest weight.

So, I'm going to start working on my outline. I've got some great ideas already about the chapters and breakdowns of recipes and variation on different types of special diets, why it's important to know if you're allergic to certain foods, (i.e. dairy, grains, etc for the purpose of disease management) and how to find exercise that works for you.

Nanfit is going to explode. I should only hope!

Sunday, April 25, 2010

This week's challenge: Liquids

Whether you have surgery or not, a week of liquid dieting can be helpful and healthy to relearn how to eat.

Pure foods don't come in packages.  You have to cook them.  There are some quick substitutes to aid in the liquid diet process, but here's what I'm doing this week.

1 CUP Horizon's DHA Whole Milk (OR Almond Breeze - Vanilla) combined with 1/2 cup of frozen fruit puree to make a thick fruity milkshake

Sure, there's no sugar in that, but taste the fruit and milk.  Enjoy it and slip it slowly while thinking "This is all that's necessary for my body to be satisfied."


1 CUP Pacific Naturals Creamy Butternut Squash soup combined with UNJURY Chicken Flavor Protein and 1/2 cup plain soy milk, plus 1/8 tsp. each of garlic and onion powder plus a dash of celery salt, plus herbs to flavor, pureed

Mid Afternoon

Muscle Milk Lite - Chocolate Peanut Butter Protein Shake


1 CUP Creamy Roasted Red Pepper and Tomato Soup and UNJURY Chicken Soup Protein Powder and 1/2 cup plain Soy Milk, plus 1/8 tsp. each of garlic and onion powder plus a dash of celery salt plus 1 basil leaf, pureed

This is bare bones liquid dieting at it's best.  I bought a selection of fruits and veggies to puree to put in soups and sauces this week.  I'll still be cooking for Jonathan, so mostly, I plan to just puree the veggies and whatever meat I've prepared with stock. 

I think the mentality with liquid dieting is that people go off and ravenously go back to their old eating habits.This whole foods conversion liquid diet I'm working on is going to take the foods you should be eating cooked fresh and pureed in order to bring your taste buds back to infancy.  Use herbs to enhance a combination of  veggies and meat-flavored enhancements.  Only complex carbohydrates, organic milk (cow, goat, nut, etc.)

I will also move this forward by saying I plan on making a lot of recipes in the near future with alternative flours, such as tapioca, garbanzo bean, rice, and etc.  I'm going to start experimenting with these for new treats.  Which reminds me, I really need to work on getting some tahini and garbanzo flour for making some awesome hummus.  I love Bob's Red Mill.

Friday, April 23, 2010

Obesity Help Conference

I would really like to attend the Houston, TX Obesity Help conference.  If you're planning on going, sign up here and help me pay for my ticket!

May 21-22 Costa Mesa CA,addtocart/itemId,2801/pcode,pandora/

Aug 20-21 Cincinnati, OH,addtocart/itemId,3001/pcode,pandora/

Nov 05-06 Houston, TX,addtocart/itemId,2802/pcode,pandora/

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Smothered Chicken

4 chicken breast filets, thawed
1 onion, diced
3 - 4 cloves of garlic, smashed
1 stalk of rosemary, leaved removed and chopped
2 stalks of celery
4 slices of bacon, cut into 1 inch pieces
1 bag of spinach
2 cups of chicken broth
1- 1/2 Worcestershire sauce
1 1/2 Tablespoons of Tony Chacherie's Brown Gravy Mix
Salt and Pepper
Mashed garlic and rosemary in a mortar and pestle, cover chicken with garlic and rosemary mixture. Toss bacon in skillet and fry for 5-7 minutes on medium high heat. Add celery and onion, turn to medium heat for 5-7 minutes. Make space for chicken breast by piling bacon, onion and celery to one side, then covering each breast until all are in the pan. Add 1 cup of chicken broth. Cook one each side for 8-9 minutes. Add 1 cup of chicken stock and entire bag of spinach. Add salt and pepper to taste. Cover and turn to medium low heat for 12 minutes, flipping chicken breasts at the half way interval. Set breasts aside on a plate, and add Worcestershire and brown gravy mix and cook on medium high for 2-3 minutes. Return breasts to skillet, ans serve with Rice A Roni, for those carb lovers.

I made this tonight and made the Parmesan Cheese Rice A Roni for Jonathan. I eat the rice too, but no more than a 1/4 of a cup. It was still extremely tasty and I'm looking forward to lunch tomorrow!


Tuesday, April 20, 2010


Let's talk about something serious.  Let's talk about how honest we are with ourselves about what we put into our mouths.  How much self efficacy do you have?  When your medical professionals tell you write down what you eat, how often do you do this thoroughly and completely?  I know I don't.  I know I don't want to see on paper what I put in my mouth because I don't want to own up to the fact that I shouldn't have eat half the crap I ate that day. It's not every day, but at least 2-3 days out of the week, I don't pay attention to what I know I should do.

I remember when I was 9 or 10, it was girl scout cookie season and I ate many, too many boxes of cookies my mom ended up paying for.  Those damn lemon sandwich cookies got the best of me.  I gave into them because food was my crutch. I didn't realize that I was drowning my sorrows in food, but I was.  How can I blame myself, food is so very very good.

I feel like now that I can control the portion amounts more easily, I have made much better choices in what i eat.  I eat reasonably and most of the time less than my body needs to survive.  I haven't been counting carbs and fat and sugar as I am suppose to though.  I do look at the labels, but I don't write it down.  If something is high in carbs and it's something I want to eat, I eat half of what the label's serving size is and it usually satisfies the craving.  But generally, our meals are no longer centered around carbs.  If I make pasta, I don't eat it.  I don't even want it anymore because I know it will just expand in my stomach (and make me sick!) and on my waistline.

My worse habit right now though has to do with water consumption.  I will go without drinking water for hours, and then mealtime rolls around and bam, I eat, I get thirsty, and boom.  The food comes up because I couldn't drink my water before or after.... I felt the urge to flush it down once there was food in there.  That's not what I'm suppose to do.

So, I really feel the need to tackle this problem with my inability to write down what i'm eating.  Here we go with today...

8AM - 1 Yoplait Light Red Velvet Cake Yogurt -
12PM - Onion Rings - Mom made them, I probably had about 1/4 an onion, tossed with 1/16 c. flour, salt, and pepper fried in peanut oil.  I don't even know how to calculate the calories on this, c'est la vie.  With 2 T of Ketchup..... Those calories didn't matter so much when it all came back up in the bathroom later.

3:30PM - The icing off a cupcake with Noah.... 2-3 Tablespoons of white sugary goodness.  Who knows what the calorie count is on that!

7:30PM - Chicken, BBQ sauce, and Cheddar Cheese pizza from Dominos, sans crust, extra chicken; two slices 6-7 slices of chicken total, appx. 2 T bbq sauce, 3-4 T cheese

I definitely must say I did better at the beginning and the end of the day when it comes to protein and food choices.  Yesterday I did well at night with the Pork Tenderloin, but didn't eat all day. Oh, and the coffee kept me up!  Note to self: when cooking with caffeine, schedule meal at noon!

Tomorrow is another day.  I will be home all day working on the job search and figuring out my life.  My mom assures me that everything will be alright.  I am trying not to freak out or stress about things, but right now, it's all I've got.  I know what I want though, and that's to be my own boss.  I really want to work on either obtaining my LPC license and/or ACE certification so I can work with weight loss clients on the extra issues I face.  Food addiction and recovery.  I think food addiction is the hardest thing to overcome because you need it to survive.  Being a foodie in the greatest food city in the world is tough.  But I'm going to thrive in my uphill battle.

Monday, April 19, 2010

Coffee Crusted Pork Tenderloin with Mango Salsa

1 pork tenderloin
3 T Black Strap molasses
1 tsp. garlic powder
1 tsp. onion powder
1 tsp. pepper
1 cayenne pepper
1/2 tsp. salt
3 tsp. Medium Roast coffee

Put tenderloin in a plastic zip lock bag. Add molasses. Refrigerate for 2-3 hours.  Blend all remaining ingredients in a blender or food processor.  Dust pork tenderloin with the coffee mixture.

Grill pork over coals for 20 minutes on each side or Bake at 375 for 25 minutes, turning half way through.

Mango Salsa

1 mango, peeled and sliced
1 tomato, sliced
1 onion, chopped
1 bunch of cilantro, minced

Combine all ingredients.

Assemble pork tenderloin on a bed of greens and add mango salsa.

It's been a while...

I keep telling myself I am going to keep up with this blog, but I have been overwhelmed with the job search process that it has fallen by the way side.  I have also been helping my mom redecorate her house, so that's taken up some time - I have also moved into a bigger place, which happened about a month ago and I couldn't be happier about it!

This month, I was featured on the Obesity Help newsletter.  I have to be honest, I didn't notice until Suzette of pointed it out to me, even though I did open and read some of the newsletter.  I have a little attention problem sometimes - I don't have any... especially on the internet, I'm always - Oh, let me go look this up, and I get to the computer and I've already forgotten what it was I wanted to look up.

I went to the doctor last week.  I'm 110 lbs down, 45 lbs to go.  So, since my highest weight of 353 pounds in March 2004, I have lost 162 lbs! OMG.  Yeah, seriously can't even fathom.  I have lost more weight than what I'll weigh when I'm done.  Rock on.  My goal weight is 145, which at 190, means I have 45 to go.  Yippeee!  Anyway, back to the doctor's appointment.  Apparently, I'm too tight right now.  I have a cough, related to the night reflux/gastritis and sinusitis because I have stomach gases coming up my esophagus at night.  I didn't want to get an unfill though because 1) it would cost me and 2) as soon as I lose another 10 lbs, I'll need that fill back... so I took the low road of waiting it out even though it is slowing my weight loss.  I'd rather lose it slowly and permanently than spend $150 right now to spend another $150 later to put it back.  Yes, I'm frugal and unemployed and I keep praying that if I lose it slow enough, my skin will retract.... I already know that it isn't going to, I was 300 lbs for the majority of my adult life.  Besides, I recently found out that I will have the money to do those surgeries once I'm down to my goal.  It's not a "win the lotto" I can predict the future, but the very thing that aided in my weight gain is going to pay out to help me with the final product.  Thanks Mom and Dad.  (No, I'm not blaming them for my weight gain!)

Now, if only that perfect job would land in my lap.  I'm really thinking of seeking out a position as a weight loss surgery patient counselor.  I am going to contact the hospitals in my area and see if there's a need for this.  I might have a intern part time, but it would be a good fit for my personal and professional experience to get licensure.